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I have yet another blog that I barely have time to keep up but it’s fun for me when I do post. Feel free to read some of my mommy antics.

I’ve been on the verge of a breakthrough recently about one thing (of many!) that I’ve been hiding from using food. I am learning that so much of the reason that we hold onto things like addictions is not because we are afraid of moving forward but afraid of looking back. Yes, I know this is standard therapist fare, but my point here is that it might be something small but still not acknowledged. I don’t think you necessarily have to go all the way back to blame your parents. (once you’ve done that a hundred times!) There are things that are less obvious that would cause us pain if we went back and worked through them properly and saw them out. I recently read The Four Agreements. I plan on sharing my take on it in the next few blogs. One insight that I thought was interesting is that you are only through something if when you remember it you have no feeling about it at all. That’s a short list, right? Karen, my coach, did a meditation yesterday where for a short time you are sitting in a safe, secluded place where you address things that you need to process and let go of no matter how much you want them. You can’t get them back and you have to let them go and feel the loss, profound loss. Speak your truth. Look where you don’t expect it.

I remember when my sister-in-law had her daughter and she was telling me about how her life was turned upside down several times a day and all of the statements from new parents about no sleep, no taking showers, yadda yadda… She reminds me often that I asked her, “When do you have time for yourself?” She looked at me with crazy eyes and laughed. Then, I had my own two children and realized that “time for myself” is about 10 min. at night before I pass out and this is still happening even though my kids are in school by now. Let me just add here that with your first child you say you don’t have time to take a shower and when you have your second you don’t know what you were talking about at the time. Take that shower!! It’s a gift to yourself!!

I digress. Time to myself is still the greatest gift I can give myself. As much as I miss my kids while I work, taking a few hours at home for myself even once a month, all by myself, makes me a much better person and rejuvenates me like nothing else.

One thing I realized the past two weeks is that I dropped a dress size and that was such a wonderful gift to myself. I noted in another post that hearing someone say you have lost weight is just wonderful but I want to add that browsing around a department store knowing you are a size smaller is an outrageous gift to yourself. Yeah, yeah – a bubble bath is good for the soul…  In the moment, THE BROWNIE will seem like a gift to yourself but feel the delight in feeling good about yourself and your accomplishments and THAT is a real gift to yourself.

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